The Way it Was
by Itanohira
Summary: He never realized (and maybe it was the way the ash fell onto his eyelashes, or maybe it was the murky muddy sunlight filtering down on them, maybe,) how something so beautiful could happen in this decayed, ruined world. Ash fell like snow - like how Lovino fell for Antonio; Quiet, uncertain, and there. Post Apocalyptic!AU. Spamano. M for a reason.


Summary: He never realized (and maybe it was the way the ash fell onto his eyelashes, or maybe it was the murky muddy sunlight filtering down on them, maybe,) how something so beautiful could happen in this decayed, ruined world. Ash fell like snow - like how Lovino fell for Antonio; Quiet, uncertain, and there. Post Apocalyptic!AU. Spamano.

Waaah I'm sorry I haven't updated anything in fiveever... ; ^ ; But I had inspiration hit me and though it wasn't for any of my other stories, I'm not gonna complain 'cause I haven't had inspiration in like five months ｡ﾟ(TヮT)ﾟ｡ So here have this multi-chaptered story that currently only has this piece of chapter written out /pats your hand It's full of end-of-the-world things and desperation and family and love and also cannibalism, isn't that cool? _Thank you_ inspiration, I don't know what I would do without you! BTW, the main characters aren't going to be cannibals, just other people so yaaaay desperation!

But all joking aside, I'm not planning on this fic to be pretty. Or nice. Its going to be about human nature and what people would do survive in a post-apocalyptic-slash-post-war world. But it's okay! 'Cause there's spamanoooo YEAAAAAAH!

Aside from the story, Stardust will be revamped because I realize I didn't like where I was going with the story - some things are gonna be changing (￣^￣;)! Also, the second chapter to To Touch is getting stale on my desktop... and it's only half done ＠^＠;;; along with the third chapter to Quoting Love and Other Things... it's half way done too... (｡・/A/・｡)

OH GOSH I'M SO RUSTY ahhh I apologize for any mistakes - And before anyone says anything I _know_ Nonno isn't Rome's name! Since this is sort of through Lovino's POV, I wanted Rome to be titled Nonno throughout the story. It might change... maybe!

Okay, so I know this A/N is ridiculously long but I have one more thing to say!: this is actually just a weird test chapter, so I'll just post it up cause I haven't really done anything lately...! Expect lots of edits and changes to this first chapter!

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**Disclaimer**: ヾ(＠°▽°＠)ﾉ helloooo

"_Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail_."  
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

The end of the world introduced itself to Lovino subtly, its black fingers tinging and twisting the world with ash and death; it came through strokes of soft rains and ravaging floods, deceptively welcoming with its sweet petrichor, through the government's _just-for-now_ ration cards, to the blaring air raid sirens and deafening roars of screeching, burning metal. Then it was silence, with its delusive facade of calm neutrality, banishing the rain with gently falling ash. Despite this moment of calmness, the world seemed to be determined to continue in its own demise, as everything suddenly exploded in bright reds and yellows, consuming all as it turned itself upside down and over - cities became damned, and so were its people as it all fell down to join the dusty embers laying forgotten, resting on hard concrete and dead grass.

Lovino saw it all from his safe perch away from the violence, away from the people, away from the city - living in the countryside had its perks. The young man had documented it all in his beat up journal, the last nine years of the world's decay in his little faded-green book.

He shifted in the scratchy, threadbare bed, the soft, thin mattress it used to be from years ago flattened out into a hard, compacted cushion from overuse. The Italian pressed the heel of his hand against his eyes, and sighed. He could hear Feliciano chatter in the next room over, probably trying to make some sauceless pasta - food has been hard to come by nowadays, and with their shortage of food ration cards, it was the best they could scrounge up. He shivered, cursing the mid morning chill of Autumn.

"Ready to get up?" Lovino started at the sudden noise, snapping his head towards the door-less doorway. Nonno, despite being scraggly bearded, had a muted smile showing through. "The soldiers with the rations are coming in, so we should get going to the city soon." Feliciano bounded in next to the eldest Vargas, and beamed despite their dreary conditions.

"We can get more pasta! Maybe they might even have some tomato sauce to add to the pasta - so we don't have to put a sprinkling of cheese on it all the time... Exciting, right?" Despite the eleven-year-old's love of pasta, Lovino knew it wasn't just the pasta he was so excited for; One of the older soldiers who passed by the city to hand out ration cards always had his son travel along with him. At first sight Feliciano was enthralled by the other boy's blonde hair and blue eyes that contrasted brightly against the Italian native's earth toned hair and eyes.

"Uh-huh," Nonno said, ruffling Feliciano's auburn hair. He beckoned Lovino over, slinging his patchy backpack over his shoulders. "Bring yours too, Lovino."

Mutely, Lovino took his own backpack, and tucked his little green journal and a dwindling pencil inside one of the outer pockets. Together, the three walked out of their weathered, small house, and towards the city. The grey expanse of sky seemed to go on forever, only stopping to touch the similarly grey-brown earth. Lovino couldn't tell if any clouds were in the sky as he stared up and walked beside Nonno.

"Hey, hey, what if they actually have _chocolate?_ I haven't had chocolate in years! Nonno, if they have chocolate, do you think you can use a ration card to get it?" Feliciano bounded forward, turning to look back at the eldest Vargas. Nonno opened his mouth to reply, but Lovino cut him off.

"No," he scowled, but his eyes betrayed him with an almost apologetic look. "We can't waste the cards on some stupid chocolate."

"Aww," Feliciano whined, but maintained his otherwise happy mood. Lithely, with soft steps, he hopped over the concrete debris littering whatever was left of the road. Lovino looked around their surroundings, the landscape slowly turning from the dead, brown countryside to the grey cityscape. Cracks littered the road, which spilled ashy dirt onto its surface like an infected wound. Lovino kicked a pile, sending dust and debris into the air.

Up ahead he could hear the quiet murmurings of some of the less-than-unfortunate survivors that lived in the city - he didn't have to look up to see their dirty, starved faces, with gaunt eyes that stared balefully at the Vargas'. He glanced to Nonno's face, who was staring ahead, and to Feliciano's, whose discomfort leaked out in waves. He took Feliciano's paler hand in his, hoping to quell some of his discomfort.

Soon, it did, but what made it leave was not Lovino's offer of comfort, but rather the blonde German boy handing out ration cards and food at the beginning of one of the long lines of people. Nonno took Feliciano's hand, who in turn had Lovino's and led them to the end of a line. Feliciano shook their hands off, almost jumping at the sight of the blond boy. He bumped against Lovino a few times as he rocked on his heels, and brushed off Lovino's soft mutterings to _slow the fuck down and _stay _still._

The line moved painfully slow, and though Lovino's nose was used to the polluted air, the stagnated air that laid thick in the city threatened to choke him with each breath. He could see Feliciano have trouble with the air, too. Without glancing at Nonno he knew that the older man had no trouble - after all, he had been living and scavenging in these torn cities when the war had started long before Lovino was born.

His worn shoes shuffled against the ashy ground. His fingers itched, and he suppressed a quiet sneeze.

The closer they got to the front of the line, the more Lovino realized that something seemed off about the soldiers. Many of the men and women who weren't passing out ration cards clutched their unholstered guns in tense fingers, and they all had shifty eyes, as if something terrible would happen. Lovino contemplated taking out his notebook to sketch these people, or maybe even write about it, to document more of his experience of the post-war.

He slung off his worn backpack, and pulled out his little sketchbook. His eyebrows furrowed when he couldn't find his pencil stub. His fingers searched, gently trying to find the pencil without accidentally poking his fingers with its sharp tip.

The first shot killed the man in front of him.

There was a deafening scream from the woman standing next to the man who took the bullet, but as soon as Lovino could flinch at the copper filling the air, many more screams scraped against his eardrums as shots rang out; only half of which coming from the soldiers in front of the lines. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Feliciano see something Lovino couldn't, and the younger boy cried out, jumping forward to his precious blond boy. With a roar, Nonno jumped forward also, pushing Lovino down to keep him away from the bullets whizzing in the air. "_FELICIANO_!" Nonno yelled, but was blocked and pushed back by running civilians.

Stunned still, Lovino looked sharply to the left, where a gang of men were frantically shooting at the lines of people and soldiers. _Raiders_ - his blood went cold. He's heard of them from other survivors who traveled from the cities down south. _They came for the rations._

Guns on both side roared, and all Lovino could do was numbly watch as Nonno bounded over where Feliciano was, stranded between them and the ration soldiers. The blond boy that Feliciano often idolized, despite never talking to him - ran over to Feliciano and Nonno, and his father ran after, gun ablaze.

Some more of the soldiers broke off from their protection from inside the gutted out building where the rations and ration cards were stashed, and assisted his two family members and the blond boy and his father, leaving Lovino on the other side of the street, unable to pass the bullet laden air between them. Nonno let out another yell as some of the soldiers restrained him from leaving their safe side of the street. "_LOVINO_!" He fought against the soldiers holding him back, trying to get to his other grandson. Lovino could barely hear him as he was dragged away, helpless on his side. He crawled onto his hands and knees, reaching for his family members that he was incapable of joining.

"Please!" Nonno pleaded, struggling still. "My grandson, I need to get him, please!" Feliciano lay unconscious in the arms of the blond boy, safe and unharmed. "Please!"

Lovino saw the struggle, and could see the desperation in Nonno's eyes as the soldiers dragged him further and further away as they retreated to their beat up government issued vans. He stayed still, not daring to move any further in case the Raiders saw him, or worse, shot him.

"_LOVINO_!" He heard Nonno's defeaning roar above the loud bangs. "_LOVINO, MEET US AT FOLLONI-_" The rest was cut off as a particularly close shot sounded near Lovino. Startled, Lovino fell back, eyes leaving the retreating forms across what seemed like an ocean of broken concrete. He scrabbled backwards and felt broken pieces of road dig into his palms and through his worn jeans. The Italian fell into a shallow ditch, hitting his head - he stuffed a dirty fist in his mouth to stifle his scream. A dull throb ached in his ankle, and tears stung his eyes as he heard heavy footsteps come closer to his ditch.

He saw the top of the Raider's head, and his hell fire red eyes, and tried to press himself into the rock, hoping, praying that the impossible would happen and the other would not see him. He closed his eyes, trying to will himself to stop trembling, but to no avail. The Raider jumped down into the shallow ditch, spotting Lovino almost immediately. When he stood up from his crouch, he pulled out a small handgun and pointed it at Lovino.

"Pl..." Lovino couldn't say anything more; His voice seemed to stop on its own, and his breath came out in short gasps as his fingers dug into the broken cement. His eyes were wide - he couldn't bring himself to blink or tear his eyes away from the other man. Somehow, he managed to speak again."Please..., fuck, I, I don't have any rations..."

"If you have nothing to offer me, then you're not of any use." The Raider shrugged, and Lovino, despite being threatened with a gun, almost crazily wondered how the man's hair could stay so clean and white-blond.

"I don't have anything else!" It was stupid of him to yell, when at any moment the guy could shoot him in the face point blank, but he couldn't help but let his fear show through his voice. "I... please don't-"

"Shoot you?" Red eyes narrowed, and he grinned. The Raider never let the gun fall back to his side. "I might." Another shrug.

Lovino grit his teeth, but his eyes where still wide, never leaving the red-eyed man in front of him. The aches in his body screamed as he tried to press himself further against the wall, bringing down small chunks of debris with him. His fingers pressed behind him, picking up a small piece of rock. It was small, and not really sharp, but a weapon was a weapon, even in inexperienced hands like Lovino's.

The Raider caught him immediately, and let out a bark-esque laugh. "A little rock won't be able to take me down, little Italian." Lovino's breath caught when he saw the Raider wave the gun around carelessly, or maybe it was because of the bright green that stared into his eyes, green like the pre-war, green like the forests in the fairytales Nonno always told him about.

The Raider didn't know what hit him, which, ironically, was a rock. A big one, but nevertheless one. The platinum blond seemed to crumple under the blow, and Lovino let out a gasp, not realizing he had been holding in a breath. He looked up to his savior.

"Need any help?" Those green eyes almost seemed to twinkle with mirth, and Lovino felt his mouth go dry.

"I... uh." He closed his mouth, trying not to gape, when he remembered Nonno and Feliciano. He clambered onto his feet, only to fall back down on his front as his ankle protested the sudden movement. "Shit!" He gasped, eyes clenched shut, "shit, shit shit!" He bit his lip, and shook off the green-eyed man's arms when they tried to help him up.

"Stop, you're only going to hurt yourself more-!"

"Fuck off!" Lovino screeched, ignoring the fact that the man had saved him. "No..." He bit his lip harder, trying to will the sharp pain in his ankle to go back to its insistent throbbing. "Shit, help me," He looked up, and he hated how his voice sounded, how... _vulnerable_ he felt. The man bent down, and gently pulled Lovino's arm over his broad shoulders, and gently stood up, carefully making sure Lovino could stand up. Lovino looked down, not wanting to look into the other man's eyes. In a soft voice, he demanded, "Help me get back up to the road."

Surprisingly, the man complied, and together, they were slowly making their way back up. There was a distinct lack of gunshots, and Lovino felt a sick twist knotting his stomach up. Maybe the soldiers had managed to fight off the Raiders, and maybe that's why it was so peaceful. Maybe -

A soft murmur from the taller man cut Lovino's thoughts off. "_Mierda."_

Lovino looked up, and the sight before him. He felt like retching, but he hadn't had anything to eat since last night, so there was nothing to choke up.

There were so many _bodies_ on the floor. Blood had pooled out under many of them, filling the cracks and potholes in the ground like little puddles, and Lovino staggered back. If it weren't for the other man holding him up, he would have fallen back. The Raiders were gone, but so where the ration soldiers. And... Nonno. Feli...

They both were gone, too.

The Italian suddenly felt like crying; all he had left was his stupid ratty backpack and his equally ratty journal. He felt the other man's fingers tighten around his waist. "Let go of me!" Lovino shouted, and in his sudden grief, stupidly pushed away from the man. "I need to - Nonno, Feli-" He gasped again, and _fuck_, it hurt so bad, hurt more than his head, hurt more than his ankle-

-Hurt more than falling on the broken cement.

The taller man was by his side again, trying to help him up. "Stop, stop!" Lovino cried out. "I need to find my family! Go away, you stupid bastard!" But the other man relented, and with a strength that far surpassed Lovino's, he was able to pick Lovino back up, gently lifting a arm to support him.

"You won't be able to get anywhere with that ankle," The green-eyed man said patiently, and though he was not smiling, Lovino could _hear_ it in the way the man spoke to him. Lovino grit his teeth.

"I don't need you, fucker."

"What a dirty mouth, you have," the man said in stilted Italian. He gently, slowly, led Lovino over to a gutted out grocery. "You won't find many friends with that kind of mouth."

"Who needs friends?" Lovino snarled, and almost wanted to pull away again, just to show that he didn't need the stupid man, however stupid it was to do so.

"In a time like this, friends are essential to surviving." Green eyes glanced over to the Italian. His grip tightened, and slowly, he let Lovino sit down on the dirty tiles of the grocer. "And family, too."

Lovino choked at the mention of family. He needed to-! "Fuck, fuck, fuck..."

"I need to go," He felt worn out now, and all of his feelings seemed to bottle itself tightly in the pit of his stomach, saving themselves until Lovino could deal with them later. "I need to go to Folloni-"

"Follonica? The Port town?"

Stricken, Lovino looked up to the other man. "I- I don't know." All he knew was that Nonno had yelled, _Folloni-_ He had no idea whether or not Follonica was their destination.

"It's a very far way from here," The other man noted quietly, more to himself than Lovino. "Do you know why?"

All that Lovino could come up with, was that maybe Nonno's sister lived there. Used to. He couldn't remember. "I don't know," he said. The older man had a thoughtful look on his face, as if he weren't afraid of there current situation. As if he were _used_ to it.

"I'm heading up to France." He said suddenly, and Lovino scowled.

"So?"

"I would feel bad if I left you here," He continued on, looking out through the grocery's broken windows. Dusky sunlight filtered through the thick clouds.

"I can take care of myself-!" Lovino said venomously, though he inwardly hoped that maybe, the man might-

"Would you like me to travel with you?" Lovino glanced up to the other man, and blinked as a small breeze swept ash and dust, and the heavy scent of iron, into the grocery. Lovino waited for the breeze to stop, to keep anything from getting into his mouth.

"No," he shook, as he realized something he hadn't in his haste. "M... my family. They could still be in the town, maybe the soldiers hadn't taken them-"

"_Soldiers?_" The way the other man's voice changed at the uttering of soldier. His voice softened."No, they would have fled with your family, if that was the case." He gestured over outside, where numerous bodies had been left. "They wouldn't have risked dying to... stay behind for you." He sounded as if he wanted to say more, but kept his mouth shut.

Lovino stiffened, and almost yelled at the other man. _How dare he say such things?_

"We should head straight for Follonica, then." The man laid his head back, and looked down at Lovino. "My offer still stands, you know."

With a tight scowl on his face, Lovino nodded, and accepted.

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Some cool info I found?:  
So I found out, while researching guns and cocking them and stuff, that not all gones need to be cocked. Hahaha, I can't say I can go in depth into it, but most guns automatically reload after the trigger, so no need for cocking! At least, that's what I got from the info I got! If there's anyone who researches guns/has lots of knowledge on guns I love to ask stuff!

LMAO I AM TERRIBAD AT CREATING FIRST CHAPTERS did this chapter seemed to rushed? Ahh, and sorry for having sutff flopping when it got to the Lovino in a ditch part...

If you guys have any constructive criticism that would be super awesome C: Also, sorry for the mistakes! I didn't have a beta, hahaha...


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